City of Chicago: "We're Glad You're Here!"

I love how this "slogan" appears in quotation marks and the new mayor's name is a sticker (already peeling off) on top of the old mayor. As if either of them ever really uttered those words!

Just Decks: Because When You Do One Thing... You Do It Right.

Truth is, I don't mind this slogan. In fact, I like it. Only trouble is, the company doesn't do just one thing. As you can see in this ad, it does decks, stairs, patios, and porches. So while the slogan may be good... it ain't right!

PlentyOfFish.com: We Delete Members Unfit to Date!

This banner ad was originally submitted for Good URL Bad URL due to its Bad URL Display with the letters running together. But I was intrigued by its bold slogan. I'm curious what their criteria is for "unfit to date." And just what do they mean by "delete?" Seems a bit harsh. I've heard of people being rejected by eHarmony -- in fact, Chemistry.com was riffing off that in their TV spots. But being deleted altogether?! And just what do they say to the folks they delete? Sorry, you've been deleted -- don't worry though, there are plenty of fish in the sea... just not at PlentyOfFish.com.

Castrol: It's More Than Just Oil

I'm finally getting around to posting the slogans from the Super Bowl ads. This one did nothing for me. It's not at all differentiated -- any brand can claim "It's more than just [product category]." This campaign could use a little more elbow grease.

Coca Cola: Open Happiness

I'm all for emphasizing benefits in slogans. And what better benefit to drinking a Coke than feeling happy? That said, it's all just a bit too grandiose (and obvious) for me. Now, maybe if they were still using the original Coke recipe, I could get behind this one. As it stands, this one's just a bit flat.

US Cellular: Believe in Something Better

Here's another slogan that's mired in delusions of granduer. Last I checked, it was cleanliness that was next to godliness -- not cell-ulous. This slogan doesn't speak to any unique sales proposition. And a mobile phone is not the type of product that's going to make a believer out of anyone. I beleive they missed the boat on this one.

Fiber One: Cardboard No, Delicious Yes.

Unlike the last two, this "We are ____, not ____" falls flat. Reason being, it doesn't stand alone. Sure, it works well with the commercial where Mrs. McCluskey from Desperate Housewives makes a crack about having to eat the box to get the fiber. But they use it on the homepage of their website, where surely noone is putting two and two together. Good Slogan No, Good Try Yes.

Ford: Drive One

I just love the audacity here. It's like we're back in the caveman days (and, no, that's not a Geico reference). Me: advertiser. You: consumer. Reminds me of how Professor John Greening from Northwestern described the old way of marketing -- "“I buy ears and eyeballs and if I say it loud and often enough they’ll succumb to my wishes.” The only thing Ford is doing here is driving people away.

Tide: Your Tide is Showing

I was surprised to see Tide running a TV spot using the same slogan as Las Vegas Tourism. I actually kind of like it -- gives the whole "your ___ is showing" a completely different (and more intuitive) spin. Don't have to think too hard to get it. Using Tide shows when your colors pop and there are no stains to be seen. That said, I think Vegas does it better giving this expression a raunchy twist that really expresses the brand. Not sure who came up with it first but since I saw Vegas using it first and it is more impactful for their brand, I have to go against the Tide on this one.

Cisco: Welcome to the Human Network

And here's an example of when integrating a slogan with an ad campaign is not enough. This slogan just doesn't stand on its own. In fact, I can't remember what the TV spot was about and have no idea what's "human" about Cisco's network. And isn't the point of a network that it automates things so humans don't have to waste their time with it? Well, I guess you can't blame their ad agency -- they're only human.

Applebees: Together is Good

Here's another one that is intended to pay off the ad campaign but falls short on its own. Applebees has always played up the local, family angle. I liked their old slogan -- Eating Good in the Neighborhood. I got it. Oh yeah, Applebees is right down the street and a great place to hang out. This I don't get. I can be together with my family anywhere. Not just a restaurant. And certainly not just at Applebees. As far as I know, all restaurants can seat a party of 2 or more. Bottom line, this slogan and commercial work well together but don't stand apart.

eBay: Shop Victoriously

I miss their old slogan -- Whatever It Is You Can Get It On eBay. Worked well with the ads that swapped "It" out for various products in the image itself, spelling out the word. Reinforced the key attribute of expansive product catalog. Trying to shift over to the thrill of winning an auction just isn't going to do it. Especially not in a recession. People aren't shopping to win right now. They're shopping to save a buck. And if/when they splurge, it's the thrill of the product, not the thrill of the win that's motivating them. This slogan will not reign victorious.

Saturn: Rethink

Not really sure what there is to think about. It's not like Satun is doing anything radically different in the auto world. To me, this slogan smells like trying to replicate what Apple did in the consumer electronics space with its "Think Different" campaign. The difference, of course, is that Apple really did rethink things and changed the game. Until Saturn does something extraordinary, I don't think it can get away with this slogan. In other words, they should rethink this tagline.

Acura: Advance

Not much better here. It takes a really strong verb to stand alone as a one-word slogan. And this isn't it. I won't deny them that they are an innovative company. Just bought an RDX and love it. And I'll give them the slight edge over Saturn here for use of alliteration. That said, "Advance" is just too generic. It's one of those words that just doesn't mean anything. Or rather, it means everything without meaning anything. It's too broad and not differentiating. Not to mention, it's too similar to...

Toyota: Moving Forward

Advance. Moving Forward. Toe-May-Toe, Toe-Mah-Toe. Let's call the whole thing off. Time for the automakers to go in a different direction -- besides forward that is.

Wendy's: It's Waaaay Better Than Fast Food, It's Wendy's

Fellow slogan-snob, Erin Vogel, tipped my off to this atroucity. I'm all for slogans that go for the "outside looking in" angle (eg, Taco Bell: Think Outside the Bun). But c'mon guys. How are you gonna pretend that Wendy's is not fast food. It'd be like the pot using the slogan: We're waaaaay blacker than the kettle.

Lexus: The Power of H

I like the premise of this campaign and how they came up with all the witty ways to play off the letter "H." That said, I don't think this slogan differentiates Lexus from any other manufacturer that has a hybrid. Granted, green marketing is all the rage right now. But this would be like Dr. Pepper promoting the fact that it's now available in diet. Oh wait...

ABC: Start Here

Start where? At ABC.com? Now that might've made sense. But no, they are asking you to start your TV watching at ABC. Why "start" there? Wouldn't they rather you finish there? In other words, do all your channel surfing, then come to ABC when you're ready to stay for a while? Am I missing something here? Or is this slogan a non-starter?

Planters: Instinctively Good

I get how this slogan ties into the commerical (remember the woman with the unibrow who rubbed a cashew on her neck and wrists and drove the guys wild?) I don't get what it has to do with nuts, though. What makes a cashew instinctively good? What do instincts have to do with snacking? A slogan shouldn't make you think this hard. All these questions will drive you plain nuts.

Sunsilk: Life Can't Wait

I really love the SuperBowl. It combines my 3 most favorite things in life -- gambling, sports, and advertising -- oh yeah, and spending time with friends and family so better make that 4!

This year's big game was flush with Good and Bad Commercials that contained Good and Bad URLs and Good and Bad Slogans.

This effort for Sunsilk struck out on all 3 counts. Goes to show how crucial the slogan can be to the overall initiative. A slogan is a campaign's entire creative concept boiled down to one succint phrase. Without a good hook, the whole program will fail.

Unfortunately for Sunsilk, I think this campaign is doomed. "Life Can't Wait" could be the slogan for just about any product in any category. And, based on years of waiting for my wife to get out of the shower, I know all too well that, when it comes to a woman perfecting her personal hygiene, life can wait!